“I Survived Being Bullied”

From Scholastic News
By Adama Kamara

Vocabulary

bullying: calling someone bad names, like "stupid", "fat", "loser", as well as hitting, pushing and other types of violence

target: someone who is bullied
depressed: feeling extremely sad for a long period of time
counselor: a person who works at a school and talks with students about their problems
transferred: moved from one school to another
launched: started, got going

 

Adama used to eat her lunch in the bathroom

I was not popular in sixth grade, but I had friends. In seventh grade, those friends started being mean to me. Soon I became the target of the popular girls. Samantha* was the leader. She and her friends bullied me all the time. I was one of the few black students at my school in Kentucky. Samantha and her friends would call me names and tell me to “go back to Africa.” The insults made me feel terrible. But being left out was even worse. I would lock myself in a stall in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Sometimes, I even ate my lunch there. It was the only place I felt safe.

BREAKDOWN
When eighth grade started, I hoped things would be different. But things got worse, and I became very depressed. After a few days, I went to the school counselor. I told him that I wanted to kill myself. He called my parents. Telling an adult was the first step to changing my life. My parents helped me come up with a solution that worked for me. I transferred to another middle school. I didn’t have many friends there, but no one bullied me. I felt safe.

SHOWDOWN
At the end of the school year, the chorus at my old school had a concert. I went with my mom. Afterward, I went backstage to see a friend. There, I saw Samantha and her friends. I thought we could put the past behind us. I walked up to them and started to talk, but Samantha stopped me. “Shut up, Adama,” she said. “No one here likes you. Go back to your other school.”  She called me every name under the sun. Her friends all laughed. I stood there with tears in my eyes. Finally, I left with my mom.

MY BULLY STORY
Later that year, I had an idea. I wanted to tell someone my story. I wanted to give other bullied teens a place to tell their stories too. I decided to build a Web site. During ninth grade, I called every Web-site-building company I could find. They all wanted way too much money. Finally, I found a good deal. I used $1,000 of my own money. I had saved that money from years of babysitting, allowance, and birthdays.

MOVING ON
When I started high school last year, everything got better. Today, I never sit alone at lunch. I hardly ever even walk down the halls alone. I get tons of texts on my phone. People know me and like me. I finally launched my Web site last spring. It’s at www.yourbullystory.com. A boy who posted his story wrote to me. He said that he felt better after sharing his story. I hope thousands of kids, teens, and even adults post their stories too. Sharing my story made me realize I’m tougher than I thought I was. I am proud that I survived being bullied.

*This name has been changed.

Can You Help Stop Bullying?
• If you get a text or see an Internet post that makes fun of someone, don’t reply. Tell an adult.
• If your friends are teasing or insulting someone, tell them to stop. It’s not OK, and it’s not funny.
• If you see someone being left out, be friendly to them.

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Derek's experience with being bullied

When I was in grade 8 (13 years old), I and some other students were bullied by 3 boys named Mike Begalke, Timmy Soubliere and Colin Downes, day after day, month after month. They called us bad names, pushed us, knocked our books out of our arms onto the floor, and punched us.

One of the boys in my class, Garth, was bullied the most. He was very smart, fat, and had freckles and red hair. One day, I was in the hall before our first class had started. I heard the other students talking about Garth.

Garth's best friend, Jamie, told us that Garth had committed suicide -- he had killed himself by hanging himself with a rope in his parents' garage.

I blame those three bullies for Garth's death.

Our teacher told us that Garth had died, but she did not tell us how he died. Back then, there was no support for us - no counselors to help us understand or deal with our shock and sadness. There is much more help for students today.

That same year, the three bullies stopped me after school. They had rocks in their hands and pockets and started throwing them at me. I ran as fast as I could to get away from them, but they kept chasing me, throwing rocks. I finally ran to a friend's house, and when the bullies saw his mother answer the door, they went away.

I stopped going to school for three weeks. My mother did not know, because she left for work early in the morning.

There's more ...

When I was 28, my wife and I went to a dinner organized by the company she worked for.  There were about 150 people at about 20 big tables. A woman who worked with my wife told us she was waiting for her boyfriend, who was late.

When he arrived, I was shocked. It was Colin Downes, one of the bullies from grade 8. I remembered poor Garth's death. For a second, I thought about smashing Colin in the head with my coffee cup. Instead, I was polite, and said we were in public school together, and that I remembered him very well. 

He didn't remember me.